Posts tagged relationships
Are You Willing to Lose to Win? by Summer

Are you willing to lose to win?

I know what you are thinking? Why on earth would I want to read anything about losing? Especially if you are in a place in your life where you feel as if you have already “lost “a lot. However, I promise you that this blog is not about the type of losing you are thinking about.  Allow me to share an excerpt from my book I wrote last year….

“I won because I pushed myself when I felt like quitting.   I won because I kept going despite the odds against me. I won because I got back up after getting knocked down. I won because I found the inner strength to pursue the greatness within me.  I won because I dared to believe in myself and my dreams when others didn’t. To win, I had to lose first. I had to lose my excuses. I had to lose my comfort zone. I had to lose the old me. The me who said I was incapable, weak, and inadequate.  The me who became discouraged by difficulties and overwhelmed by opposition.  The me who allowed other people’s opinions to define my destiny.  When I dared to lose the old me, it was then and only then….that I won.”

My question to you today is this, “Are you willing to lose?” It took me a long time to be willing to do just that.  As a young adult I struggled with low self-esteem because in my eyes I didn’t look like the cover girl on the magazines. Then in my early 20’s my 6 year marriage ended in divorce. At 29, I realized that my life was definitely not the “fairy-tale” I planned and felt my life going in a downward spiral. I continued to look to others for assurance that I was not a failure because I was not married with 2 kids and white picket fence. I was at a job I hated and quite frankly I felt confused about who I was or where I was even going.  I remember crying out to God to help me. I was tired of trying to do things on my own. I was tired of trying to live up to society’s expectations and other people’s approval.  During this time of prayer and meditation, I realized I had to let go and lose my idea of being perfect and learn to love and celebrate myself for where I was. I realized that in order for me to grow, it was ok for me to be uncomfortable. I realized that this thing called “life” does not exactly come with an instruction manual and if I was going to reach my fullest potential, I was going to need God to guide me.  So what did I do? I let go of toxic relationships. I stopped feeding myself negativity through conversations, television, or social media. I stopped entertaining negative thoughts in my head. I pretty much let go of everything that I knew was prohibiting me from being the best woman I was purposed to be.  As a result, I latched on to everything positive I could get my hands on. From prayer, self-help books, inspirational books, fulfilling relationships. mentors, etc.  God and the factors I just mentioned helped me get to where I am today. Who am I?  An empowered and poised Christian woman who now loves myself unconditionally and has finally tapped into my God-given purpose. I am bold, strong and unstoppable.  I am a registered nurse, entrepreneur, certified personal trainer and life coach. I have published one book and currently working on my second. I ran a full marathon and competed in 2 bodybuilding competitions. I did all of this after losing everything that was preventing me from achieving my fullest potential. My hope and prayer for you as an empowered and poised woman is that you realize how amazing you are and don’t ever be afraid to lose…. in order to win.


Check out Summer's website & book at:

Check out Summer's website & book at:

How To Overcome Failure by Abigail

Failure can seem like a roadblock. Being an empowered and poised, hard-working woman, I pour my soul into absolutely everything that I do, and it is a crushing realization when you are smacked in the face with what feels like inadequacy. To fail can unfortunately foster a false self-image of low worth, despite having worked so hard for the dreams you chase.

I am a medical student currently and recently took a standardized exam that partially determines where I will do my professional training in the hospital after graduation. For six grueling weeks, I followed a strict study schedule jam-packed with various tasks such as practice questions, organ system-based review, and countless summary videos. It seemed to be an insurmountable task to learn all of the information I needed to know, but I thought if I told myself I could do it that I would be fine. However, I failed the exam by a mere one point and I was absolutely devastated. Due to failure to pass the exam, I am mandated to take a year off of school to retake the exam, which was never a part of my “plan”. I also had some personal and emotional complications occurring at the time of this dedicated study period, in which I ended a 7-year long relationship with my then-fiancé. In addition to the disappointment I felt in myself, I felt as if the control I once thought I had over my life was slipping through my fingers.

However, over the past couple weeks I have had a revelation: the adversities I face at this point in my life are only shaping me into a more empowered and poised woman for the future. No matter how unsure I may be about what tomorrow will bring, I have learned that I can depend on myself and my commitment to happiness and success. Love for yourself and love for the life you are living are immeasurably important. Once I came to terms with my situation and started to string together a game-plan, I realized the opportunities that this seemingly-terrible situation had created for me. I now have the chance to re-approach the exam in a better state of mind and prove how capable I am. I have to time to myself to decompress and further myself professionally and personally in my time off.

Today I am studying and re-evaluating my methods in preparation for re-taking the exam this fall. I have learned so much about myself, what I want in my life and what ways I can best succeed: things that I would have never had insight into without this unexpected turbulence. As much as many of us wish that we had full control over our timeline, it is not the way of the world. However, personal growth is dependent on the challenges that we face. No matter how tough things may appear, there is always a way to use adversity to improve yourself and learn. Becoming empowered and poised is a lifelong journey! It is something that everyone is learning each and every day, through the good and the bad. I encourage everyone to be grateful for the blessings in your life, no matter how simple they may seem compared to your hardships. Always seek opportunities to grow and never, ever stop believing in yourself and what you are capable of. Failure may be a roadblock, but construction is temporary; afterwards, you will be even stronger for it.