Posts tagged love
Deliberate Thinking by Michelle

September is an emotional month for most people. Years ago like clockwork September would send me into a downward spiral. I didn't know how to manage my emotions. Back then, I wanted to avoid my feelings and escape from my "grieving month". I grieved the loss of my lazy days of summer and having my girls home. I grieved the luxury of travel/vacations, and my husband’s time off in the summer months. We go from toes in the sand and sun on our faces, to rushing to the bus stop so early that it is still dark out. We begin the routine of running around to practices, activities, assisting with homework, and teaching in my Non-Profit again, which can be a big transition. However, the biggest emotional scar of grief that I carry in September is from the anniversary of my Mom's passing on the 18th.

I have learned the hard way that keeping your emotions at bay by not processing and allowing yourself to feel them, will cause even more pain, anxiety and stress. Over the years I've learned to be present with these emotions and honor them. If I observe them long enough I can find the exact thoughts that cause them. Then the choice to think a different thought, and therefore feel differently, is available to me if I want. How we think and feel is always a choice!

Most of my clients have developed a habit of emotion like I once had. I am passionate about helping them understand what emotions that they have memorized and by default go to without being aware that they are doing so. I teach them the skill deliberate thinking and therefore managing their emotions better.

So ask yourself where you are asleep at the wheel with your emotions...

  •  If your child comes home from school and tells you that they were picked on or excluded that day, do you take them out for ice cream so that you both can avoid feeling the hurt that is present?
  • Do you avoid tough conversations that you need to have by distracting yourself with a shopping spree ~ Discovering that you can't buy peace?
  • Do you numb yourself with a bag of chips after you experienced a disappointment or embarrassing situation?
  • Do you instigate a fight with your spouse, to avoid dealing with the root of your anger ~that you were overlooked for the big promotion that you deserved?

Once we stop disconnecting from our emotions, we can use them as guidance to grow, heal, and create how we really want to feel. You don't need any circumstance to change, in order for you to change the way that you feel. Emotional intelligence will remove the fear around negative emotions and show you how important they are in assisting you back to the positive ones. By deciding how we want to feel, we can think our way into living more consciously. That is true power.

Want to tap into that power? Reach out to me I will discuss the different ways that we can work together to set you up for emotional freedom and success.


Michelle Dunk President & Founder In beTWEEN Girls, Non-Profit /CEO Visionary Mentoring Group /#1 Best Selling Author /Motivational Speaker

How to Live Your Passion- and How NOT to Regret it! by Rachel

What I am about to share with you is a little bit of my own journey; a journey of realizing who I was, who I am, who I might BECOME, and radically accepting it all for better or worse.

Looking back, it was always so evident what my passion was. Now it’s just retroactively obvious to me that I was born this way. However, it took until my late twenties before I decided to turn my passion into my life’s work! Why is that? Well…

When I was a kid I loved publications; really anything I could get my hands on, whether it was a free brochure from the bank or random business cards. In fact my mom called me the ‘Bag Lady’ because I filled entire bags with all these free publications. I would then play “business” with them. That’s right--instead of playing with dolls or playing house, I would invite Luke Skywalker and Princess Leah over for a formal business meeting with my brochures! Can’t make this stuff up!

In addition to my Star Wars-themed corporate meetings, I had my Dad’s old Kodak suitcase that I would lug around, packed with craft items for when I got bored. It was almost every day that I worked on my crafts. This briefcase lasted me all the way through middle school!

When I was seventeen and felt I was ready, I went off to college—a little early, I know. Although my parents encouraged me to study both science and math, I made a compromise and instead chose the social sciences. I have to admit that while these subjects were really interesting to me, I just couldn’t hack it in the hard sciences. Meanwhile it had been reinforced over and over again to me by my parents and teachers that art would not get me anywhere. Therefore I studied Political Science and Economics which seemed to suit me better. After graduating, I went to work for a huge bank as my first job in the ‘real world.’

Right upon starting there, I was eager to excel at my day-to-day work. So much so that I was more concerned about being promoted and achieving than I was about being happy or pursuing what I was built for! I call this period the ‘dark days,’ and for about 3-5 years I dealt constantly with overwhelming anxiety and depression.

Every day I struggled to get out of bed and go to work. I was not happy or satisfied with anything in my life except the short weekends when I pursued my arts and crafts. In fact the depression got so bad that eventually I had to stop working at the bank entirely.

Here I had to face facts--for all intents and purposes, I was broken. However, while I had trouble with everyday tasks, the one thing I had no trouble with at all was being creative. It still came so naturally to me. I gradually realized that it took me being beaten mentally to finally accept myself as I really was--a proud creative person! I had tried so hard all of my life to fit a certain mold to please my parents or whomever else in my life. But the one thing I needed to fit was ME; the one person I needed to make happy was ME; the person I had to live with in the end was only ME!

As you can no doubt see, the moral of my journey is the one thing it took me 25 years to learn: we have each got to accept ourselves as we actually are. This self-acceptance is a gift we can all give ourselves every day, and from there we will discover the passion that motivates us to do our OWN life work. Only in this way can we truly be success stories!