Posts tagged girls
6 Small Ways You Can Improve Your Mood and Confidence

Ever have those days where every little thing brings you down? Imagine you wake up, make your bed and are excited and ready to go to school. You're supposed to get a test back in your first period class, but you did not do as well as you thought you did. Later in the day, your friends are not being as friendly as they usually are, which sets your mood down. You try not to think too much about these things, but you cannot help it. You also feel behind in some of the classes you are enrolled in, which stresses you out. Before you’re about to go home from school, the strap on your favorite sandals broke. You go home and everyone is minding their own business and not noticing how you are upset. These days can bring most people down, but here are 6 small ways you can boost your confidence when you are having one of those days:

1. Have positive self talk

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If you constantly tell yourself you're no good or not worth it, then you will eventually start believing it, even though it isn't true. Start filling your thoughts with positive thoughts and you will see a better attitude about things

2. Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake

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Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has those days! Learn from those mistakes and continue to move forward to be the best you.

3. Movement and Exercise

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Going on a walk or run or hitting the gym will help you forget any stresses you may have. It will also significantly help you improve your mood.

4. Celebrate the small stuff

You woke up and made your bed. Check! You made it to school or work on time. Check again! Accomplishing all these small things are all worth celebrating about.

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5. Focus on things you can change

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Stressing over what happened in the past and letting that ruin your confidence only sets you back. If you didn’t do so well on an assignment figure out what ways you can improve on your next assignment.

6. Surround yourself with supportive people

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Try to not hang around people who bring you down. Find people who make you feel good about yourself and motivate you to be the best person you can be.

Thinking about these 6 small ways to improve your self confidence can significantly brighten your mood and make you a more positive and motivated individual!  

--Written by Marwa, Empowered & Poised Intern

How To Live More Confidently by Leah

Confidence. This one thing will lead you to be an empowered person and can be hard for just about anyone, especially a teenage girl. I believe that it doesn’t take other people to make you confident, only yourself.

The first step to becoming more confident is killing all the negative thoughts from not only other people but yourself. This may seem hard but it’s really not. First of all you are amazing and beautiful, don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Don’t get down on yourself because this makes you more vulnerable. You might not think that these words hurt you in any way but they can. They can stick with you in the back of your brain just eating away at it until you finally believe them.

The second part of becoming more confident is surrounding yourself with people who won’t bring you down or hurt your feelings in any way. Become friends with people who will pick you up and make you feel better. Becoming part of a good group of friends is always the key. These friends are the ones that will help you think highly  of yourself. Stay close to the people to the who build you up! You don’t need to worry about negative people trying to bring you down.

Step three of learning to be more confident in yourself is finding something to do that makes you happy. Typically if you're sad you're not going to be a very confident person. Doing something that you enjoy like art or soccer will make you more confident. This is because it will make you happy and you’ll learn to love yourself a little more which is also a big key to being confident.

Lastly, act the part! You can forget the negative comments, have nice friends and even do something that makes you happy but still not have self confidence. This sounds almost crazy but it’s true. If you don’t follow through with these and you just kinda ‘go with it’ and not care then you're just going to resort back to having little confidence. But if you really go by these steps everyday and take part in it then you’re going to become a super self confident person! This might mean making some changes in your life but I promise it’s worth it.

My name is Leah and I’m a super confident person. I live by these steps each day. I don’t let people's negativity or mean words words bring me down. I have an amazing group of friends that boost my confidence and bring out the best in me and I do the same for them! I play soccer and softball which makes me confident because it makes me stronger mentally and physically, and I act confident! I hope you learn to be the super confident person you were meant to be and always show it!

Social media scares: 5 ways to help your daughter stay safe on social media
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1. Educate yourself

It is important to become familiar with the social media platforms your daughter uses. While this can be challenging, it is crucial to say up-to-date and educate yourself on the potential dangers of the different platforms.

2. Talk to her about the dangers

Once you have educated yourself on the potential dangers your daughter may face discuss them with her. For example, explain to her that she should “ghost” herself on Snapchat and disable her geolocator on Instagram. These simple tips will help to keep her safe from other users having the ability to locate her. (To me, these features are so scary and dangerous!)

Just a few more points of discussion to help you get started:

  • How to deal with cyberbullying

  • How to keep profiles private (or as “private” as they can be…we will touch on this in #3)

  • How to handle feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, or isolation that may arise from using social media and express that it is okay to seek help if you feel like this

3. Understand that nothing is ever “private”

Even though your profiles may appear as “private”, information that is sent out via social should always be handled as if it is “public” information. Explain to your daughter that teachers, future employers, and strangers will all have the ability to access her information. Therefore, it is important that she does not share anything she would not want the whole world to see.

4. Monitor her usage

As mentioned in #1, it is important to become familiar with the different social media  platforms your daughter is using. “Follow” her on the different platforms, monitor the content she posts, limit her screen time, and check privacy settings. If you do not want to seem overbearing, it may help to explain why you are monitoring or limiting her usage.

5. Understand that what you see isn’t always reality

In a world where we are exposed to images that are constantly filtered and photoshopped it is beneficial to help your daughters become critical consumer of the media. What I mean by this is that it is important to educate your daughter that what they see is not always the reality of a situation. Typically, people do not post images of themselves that highlight their imperfections, even though we all have them! So if your daughter gets bummed that she doesn’t look like the girl “on instagram” remind her that she is beautiful in her own way and many of the individuals she sees do not even look like their instagram pictures without all of the editing.

 

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Social media doesn’t have to be something to fear. If used properly it can be a tool to connect with friends and family all over the world. It can be a place to share ideas and have intelligent conversations. You can join communities, like Empowered&Poised, that help you grow into the beautiful, empowered, and poised woman your daughter is destined to be.

How to Overcome Your Struggles by Christie

** as you read this blog, think about where you are in life.  This isn't just about my story, but each of ours!  So fill in the the blanks you see with something YOU can relate!

I hated myself for almost a third of my years on earth. I had been telling myself horrible things about how I wasn’t good enough, thin enough or **_____ enough and still, sometimes struggle to keep those thoughts away!  I had allowed these thoughts to dictate life in ways that were unhealthy to both body and mind. For me, it turned into an eating disorder.  

How it all came to pass or my story, doesn’t matter for this blog.  This isn’t about eating disorders.  It is about the LIES we tell ourselves!

Lie 1:  I don’t have a problem.

That was the hardest part.  I didn’t want to admit that daily, I was consumed with thoughts and pressures.  

All I could think of was how I looked, what I ate, what people thought and how I could be PERFECT.  

When I got up in the morning it had already started.  

This overwhelming pressure:

What I was going to wear?  What were my friends going to wear?  What should the popular girls wear?

What I was going to eat?  Would my crush be there at lunch and see me eating?  Of course my skinny friend was going to eat whatever she wants and I would have to watch her…and on and on and on…. It was EXHAUSTING.  I believed that I was imperfect for so long that everything I was feeling about how to become “perfect” was NORMAL and healthy.

Here is an example.  Look at Instagram.  We are shown pictures of models, fashion, fitness, food, extreme wealth, our friends having the time of their life, happy couples, and so much more.  Constant reminders of what it is we need to be, look at, have and eat without gaining a pound...more or less, what it takes to be happy and have a picturesque life. (Did I mention how exhausting it was to put this constant pressure on myself, to have these thoughts and become so consumed with looking at other people’s lives?)

Guess what guys; it is not healthy to think like this!

Truth:  I have a problem and it is OK to admit that!

So now what?

Lie 2:  I can fix this problem and do it alone!

I am not even going into the day in and day out plan to “get better” alone as it didn’t work and DOESN’T!

Truth:  GET HELP.  Recently in business, someone told me "no one who ever did any great, did it alone.”  AND WOW is that the truth! 

The first thing I suggest (And I did) is to tell someone close in confidence.  Not a girlfriend, but someone in a leadership position that can make suggestions with your best interest in mind.  

This reach out ended me in an eating disorder program. 

With time, work and a year of struggle, I became to get better!  I no longer viewed food the same way and made some huge strides in understanding how and why I let myself get to this point. 

My mind shifted and it gave me power BUT…

Lie 3:  I am broken.

It was my family who reminded me of this pretty consistently.  They were worried so they always said things that in their mind, helped.  It didn’t.  I felt that since I admitted to the problem and was in therapy, everyone felt this way anyways and I was humiliated.  So from here on out, obviously I am the broken messed up one in the family.  (Maybe for you insert Family with **______)  

Truth:  NOPE!! I am not broken.  I am **______.  There are thoughts that are broken.

I had to choose and decide I was not broken.  Instead, I realized there was an area of my mind that had been filled with lies I had begun to believe.  I was no longer fighting myself, but fighting the LIES instead!  

Lie 4:  I am FIXED!  Now, ONCE XXX HAPPENS THEN LIFE WILL BE PERFECT!

*This lie ended with a truth that was humbling.  I realized I was still sick and hadn’t given up all the crap I had put on myself*

Now that I was feeling more strong and empowered, I came to the conclusion that my life would begin after I “finished” this battle and lost the weight the program had pushed me to gain.  I thought if I could just do it in a healthier way every one would see me in the way I wanted.  I would finally be healed and happy.  

These thoughts became my new obsession.  They kept me in from events, friends, alone on holidays and on and on.  Truly, they kept me from enjoying life.  (AGAIN)

I was living with the same pressure as I had with my eating disorder.  

Truth:  Life begins this second!

One day, as I considered many things and how sad I was, I thought…What if I didn’t ever have a body that my mind felt was PERFECT?  What if every day, no matter what I did, I stayed the same?  Would I want to feel this way for the REST OF MY LIFE?   HELL NO!  That day forth, I decided I was worth fighting these thoughts.  

I wish I could say that since then I have woken up with a smile and a pure self awareness.  SO not true.  Since that moment I have had periods of time as long as months, and relationships I have allowed that were negative. Times and interactions that caused me to question my abilities and worth.  It starts a daily struggle.  Then it turns into a weekly…and with time less and less.  But it is still a struggle!

What I did and do different?

1-I created wonder.  I look up at the moon; laugh when I trip over my own two feet or do something silly.  I always wear my favorite clothes that make me feel special.  I make an effort to get to know others and work to make others smile.

2-I have a list of positive thoughts I push into my mind when negativity pops up its ugly head.  My own positive thoughts or things I have heard from others that I love. 

3-I have a support group to keep me in check.  When I have a day of questioning I TELL THEM!

4-I know when to say when.  (And I do not do so great at this one) I work to know when to end a friendship or relationship.  I know when I am feeling down to stay away from my destructive behaviors like shopping or over eating or spending too much time alone.  Some days it is as easy as knowing when to get off Instagram!

The results:

I started to treat myself differently.  I started not hiding my body or my mind.  I wore clothes that I liked that fit my body (even if it wasn’t my favorite outfit ever-it fit and made me look good!). I started to try new things and create adventures.  Negative behaviors were not in the forefront of my mind as I was too happy and busy enjoying my life!  Time passed and my body figured itself out.  I had hurt it and it needed to heal.  Just as I did.

MY ASK:

So I am asking for you to think about where you are. Are you listening to the lies?  Are you waiting for something to happen?  

Please hear me.  Loving yourself is what matters. Accept how you are today.  Accept yourself exactly in the form, feeling and state you are in.  Keep that feeling through practice of self-love. Surround yourself with people who empower you.  Work daily on those reminders and keep that same feeling.

Once you accept yourself, truly love yourself - you can only find happiness in happiness. 

Progress Over Perfection by Leah

I am an Empowered & Poised Female because I am brave enough to follow my dreams. The life of an entrepreneur is never easy, especially being a twenty-two year old recent college graduate. I have never been great at letting go as I am a perfectionist, and need to manage my anxiety, almost on a daily basis. I have constantly struggled with forgiving myself for getting a bad grade, which to most people would not even be considered unacceptable. This type of thinking has also trickled down into other areas of my life. Eating too many treats, which at times means more than none, and obsessing over things that do not truly matter like how flat my stomach is at any given point in a day have been struggles in life. So, it is safe to say that starting a business has presented quite a few challenges for me. I am learning it is okay to let go of the need to be perfect all the time. There are still days I get nervous about looking “dumb” and have my amazing boyfriend edit a two sentence email to settle my fears, but I am slowly beginning to trust myself and my abilities. I am starting to realize that if I make a mistake it is okay because I am human and I am imperfect, just like everyone else. I now understand that it is better to DO SOMETHING and learn than be afraid of failure and do nothing at all.

My passion for working with young girls and supporting women is what will make this tough journey as a young female business owner worthwhile. On the days that I struggle, I remember that I too am empowered & poised. I am courageous, strong, and driven because there is a world that is much bigger than me in need of positivity and acceptance. I am living in a world where I know I am not the only woman that seems confident, but breaks down crying some nights trying to love herself. I am empowered & poised and will no longer allow my fears to tell me I am incapable of becoming a success. For so long I was scared to begin this journey, not having the ability to plan every little detail. Today I stand boldly and beautifully knowing that I will be a success if I can touch the heart of just one female. Because ultimately, making the difference in even one girl’s life is enough for me to know I am living out my greater purpose. It will allow me to sleep at night knowing one less girl will have to deal with feeling that she constantly has to measure up to society’s standards of “perfection”.

I am an empowered & poised female because I am learning to set aside my fears and trust the process. I am an empowered & poised female because I am brave enough to follow my dreams. I am an empowered & poised female because I am brave enough to become naked to the world and share my raw stories and struggles so that other females can begin to heal and know that they are not alone.

You are not alone.

Because I am an empowered & poised female I am confident that “I am not perfect like you, I am perfect like me.”