You Are Enough! By Alexandra
Being enough is something that I have struggled with off and on for most of my life and especially in the last 5 years. Feeling good enough compared to what I see of my friends, or on social media, and on TV can be a daily struggle for most people. Did I say the right thing, do the right thing, or even do I have on the right outfit? These are struggles that I have seen many women and myself face daily. I want to tell you that you already are enough. Just the way you are. If you were like everyone else, all your individual gifts would be lost. And ultimately, your gifts and your story, the good, bad and ugly are meant to help someone else.
Four and a half years ago, my health started rapidly declining. Going from being a trained professional dancer, to limping on my right leg, not only shook my world but left me scrambling to find answers of what was wrong with me. After being misdiagnosed for two months, I received the phone call that I had a tumor and needed to see a specialist the next day. Perplexed and dazed, does not even begin to describe how I felt in that moment. The fear of loosing my life and missing seeing my son grow up was terrifying. Feeling like I hadn’t reached my potential in life and would never have the chance to fulfill my purpose left me feeling lost. The next day, after 4 hours of testing and an explanation of what they found in my femur bone, I was scheduled to have major surgery nine days later. Those nine days were filled with preparation and temporarily shutting down my business for the recovery time it would take. Every detail was planned and I was praying what they found would not be cancer. By the day of surgery, I felt as prepared as possible, but little did I know or understand what was in store.
The surgery left me with a twenty-eight-centimeter scar down the center of my right leg and without the ability to lift my leg an inch in the air. Sitting there seeing the lack of ability to move and the pain to rebuild the muscle left me in a place of deep depression. I had no desire to do anything at all. I was so angry that this was happening to me. I was also angry at the pain it would take to recover. At the time, I felt like I would never fully recover and that my life would be filled with pain forever. Five months of excruciating pain through physical therapy gave me the ability to walk. However, finding the grace of God is what gave me the will to push through and keep moving forward.
When everything was stripped away, even the ability to walk, I found myself wondering who I was without my natural physical abilities. Leaning into God alone is what saved me from giving up and feeling sorry for the tragedy that could have easily become my life. When my strength was gone, I had my family and God alone to turn to and at times carry me through. I chose to find my identity in not what I could do, but who I am called to be, a daughter to the King. Because of who He is; I am enough. It doesn’t matter if I have a bad day and make mistakes; I am enough. If I fall flat on my face or roll out of bed not wanting to face the day; I am enough. When everything seems to be falling apart, I look to God and know I am enough because He says I am. He hears my every cry, sees my every tear, and loves me where I am. Because of His love, I can show love to others even in the storm and offer something to this world even when I don’t feel like I have anything to offer.
If there is one thing I want you to take away, it is that you are enough and amazing just as you are. There is greatness inside us all and we can help others even when we feel broken inside. I urge you to press through the hard moments and become stronger despite the obstacles you face. Know you are loved and being your authentic self can change the world! You Are Enough 😊